Sikhala – Biti – Gwisai The Same Old Cast Returns for a Political Comedy of Errors

By Ringson Muteruka
When certain politicians run out of ideas, they start running to a microphone. The Sikhala , Biti, Gwisai combination would make Morgan Tsvangirai laugh from his grave. What we are witnessing today is not a new movement; it’s a desperate, third-rate sequel starring the same folks who couldn’t handle the first two acts.
The usual suspects—Tendai Biti, Job Sikhala, and Munyaradzi Gwisai—have decided to stand in a line and call themselves the ‘Constitution Defenders Forum.’ Those of us who have been around long enough know that they are trying to replicate Lovemore Madhuku’s NCA when Madhuku defeated Jonathan Moyo and the Chidyausiku Kariba draft constitution.
Bless their hearts. Unfortunately for them they are not Lovemore Madhuku and the NCA methodologyworked then it wont work now. Believing in Biti- Sikhala and Gwisai is like hiring the crew that sank the Titanic to captain your new cruise ship.
We know that what unites them is not 2030, no they are united by the mutual hatred of Nelson Chamisa. They’ve decided their main mission is to turn their guns on Nelson Chamisa, the same way they turned their backs on Morgan Tsvangirai. And let me tell you, this new project is about as useful as a chocolate teapot in July. They’re back in the political kitchen, and they’re cooking up a failure sandwich.
We’ve seen this script before. When the late, great Tsvangirai was leading the charge, what did this cast of characters do? They decided the tent wasn’t big enough for their individual egos, so they started sharpening knives.
You had Tendai Biti, the sharp lawyer with the short fuse, splitting off to form his own little PDP lifeboat. It drifted. It took on water. He eventually came back, a political boomerang that failed to return to the target. For all his legalistic arrogance, the man couldn’t even hold a decisive grip on Harare East, having lost to a strong candidate like Rusty Markham—a clear sign the voters have been reading the fine print of his political contract. When your home constituency gives you the political side-eye, that’s not leadership, that’s just a politely worded eviction notice.
Then there’s Job Sikhala. He broke away to form MDC 99—a party so small it was a political footnote to a footnote. It was the party that launched a thousand yawns, and it collapsed because political movements need ground game and loyalty, not just the capacity for a theatrical press conference. The people of St Marys are still waiting for the day when Job Sikhala will do one development oriented project for them.
And let’s not forget Munyaradzi Gwisai, the ideological antique. He was so socialist and so radical, Tsvangirai’s MDC had to expel him back in 2002 for contravening the party’s constitution. The same Gwisai who failed to adhere to the MDC constitution models himself as a defender of a national constitution. These jokes are writing themselves. Gwisai is about as relevant to the workers’ movement as a fax machine is to a teenager. He’s been out of the game so long his political name and relevance are none existent the voter no longer remembers nor do they know whnat or who Gwisai is they prefer Ostallos Siziba, Fadzai Mahere and even Maureen Kademaunga to fossils like Gwisai.
The pattern is crystal clear, people: these aren’t nation-builders, they are not constitution defenders; they are schism-builders, rouble rousers looking for donor coins. They didn’t show loyalty to Tsvangirai, they failed to serve the cause of the masses through their splinter projects, and now they expect us to believe their sudden unity against Chamisa is somehow about defending the Constitution? I’d say they’re defending their right to stay relevant, and not much else.
You want to know what this new forum is really about? Look at the grand announcement. It wasn’t a policy document that got headlines; it was the inevitable, predictable drama. Already, the alleged arson incident seems to follow Job Sikhala like a hungry crocodile follows a scent. Job Sikhala has had 8 arson incidents follow him as if he was relevant. What makes him relevant besides being Mzembi’s lawyer? The chaotic spectacle of the SAPES fire has done more to define this ‘Forum’ than any high-minded talk of principles. The truth is, the alleged arson is more popular than their entire political platform and the characters behind it.
This whole endeavor is fundamentally flawed, and here’s why I’ll give it three weeks—and that’s being generous:

1. Ego Math: When you put three political personalities with a history of wanting the top job in one room, the only thing that multiplies is the size of the egos. Who’s in charge? Biti thinks he’s the brains, Sikhala thinks he’s the voice, and Gwisai is probably still looking for a Soviet-era workers’ council to lead. They couldn’t organize a two-car funeral, let alone a unified political movement.
2. The Cash Register: New projects need money, and in politics, when the money gets tight, the accusations start flying. Who’s holding the purse? Who signed the checks? Without a unified, selfless cause, that money is going to become “unaccounted for” faster than a politician changes his stance on a rainy day.
3. No Base: Political projects don’t succeed because three people have a press conference. They succeed because people in the villages and high-density suburbs show up. Gwisai is irrelevant to the working class he once claimed to serve. Sikhala has no base to speak of beyond his own name. Biti is as good as the PDP he failed to make stick.
   The people of Zimbabwe are tired of political sideshows. They need real change, real strategy, and real leadership that can stay focused on the enemy, not on cannibalizing its own.
   This ‘Constitution Defenders Forum’ isn’t a new dawn; it’s just the same old collection of political failures hoping a new name tag will fool somebody. But the people aren’t stupid. They recognize a political retread when they see one.
   Mark it down, folks, you heard it here first: you give this ‘Forum’ three weeks, and it will be a bonfire of vanities. It will collapse under the weight of its own ambition, its financial disagreements, and the sheer impossibility of uniting three ships that all demand to be the flagship. This isn’t a political vehicle; it’s a political scrapyard, built by men whose only enduring talent is tearing down what others built.